The Future
by Destroyer Uv Nations
Summary: Ciel, Alois, and their demon butlers wake up in an unfamiliar house in the future.


Ciel sits up in his bed and smacks his head on the ceiling. Wait, that can't be right... He jumps out of bed in a slight panic and realizes that it's not the ceiling, but another bed above his own. He hides his unease behind bossiness. "What is the meaning of this! Sebastian!"

Sebastian is suddenly there. "Yes, my lord."

"Where am I? What is this strange double bed contraption?" Ciel demands. He rubs his head. "I hit my head on it."

"I am uncertain, my lord. I woke up in quite the unpleasant situation myself." Sebastian fights the urge to gag upon remembering the hideous, horrible THING that was in bed beside him. (No, it wasn't Grell(sadly) shut up Grell!)

"But you don't sleep..." Ciel points out.

Sebastian is staring suspiciously at the top bed. "There is something up here, my lord."

A foot lashes out and nearly breaks itself on Sebastian's face. "OW! Oooooow ow," it whines. "CLAUDE!"

The hideous, horrible THING that was in Sebastian's bed is suddenly there. "Yes, your highness."

"What's going on? Why is my bed so high up?" Alois ignores the ladder and starts climbing down the hideous, horrible THING instead. Claude insists we stop calling him that.

Ciel gives Alois a LOOK. "You did this, didn't you."

Alois looks quite undignified with one foot stuck in the front of Claude's tailcoat and the other swinging around in search of solid ground. "Did whaaaaat, I didn't do anything!" The death grip he has around Claude's neck would have strangled any normal human butler by now.

The two demons have a silent eye communication argume-ahem, agreement where they come to the conclusion that neither of them has any idea what is going on.

Tired of staring at Claude's ugly face, Sebastian turns back to his young master. "It seems we don't know where we are."

"Well, then, let's find out," Ciel says. "I can't very well do that in my pajamas. Take care of it."

"Yes, my lord." Sebastian acts like he knows exactly what he's doing as he goes through closets and dressers.

Alois now has an entire leg stuck down Claude's tailcoat. "WAIT, he's gonna take all the best clothes." He struggles uselessly for a moment more. "Why aren't you helping me!"

"You didn't ask," Claude says.

Alois sticks his finger in the side of Claude's mouth and stretches it into a half-smile thing. "Don't you get cheeky with me. Help!" Claude obeys.

Once the two young masters have sufficiently complained about the selection of clothes (conveniently fitting t-shirts and jeans), the butlers dress them. (And re-dress them, in the case of Claude after Alois dramatically rips his new clothes back off and declares them not good enough)

It takes them only a few minutes to explore the small house that they've woken up in. Next up, the front yard. Trying to show off how much more mature he is than Alois, Ciel opens the front door himself. Well, he tries. Sebastian has to undo the confusing lock first.

Out front is a little patch of grass, the road, and a bunch more little houses. "This is no place for someone as amazing as me to be living!" Alois exclaims. "Where will we have parties?"

"We do not plan on staying here, your highness," Claude reminds him.

"What's that over there," Ciel says. He walks toward the mishappen lump that looks out of place in the flower garden.

"Don't touch that, my lord, it is obviously a pile of poop," Sebastian warns.

The poop jolts up out of the garden. "How rude!" it shouts.

Ciel recoils from the poop.

"Stop!" Grell says. "That is no way to address a delicate flower such as myself." He does some over dramatic dance/hair flip/twirl. "And I _am_ a flower, seeing as I've woken up in a flower garden."

As much as it pains Sebastian to even talk to this thing, he asks, "Grell, do you know where we are?"

"Come to think of it, I don't," Grell replies, looking around. All the possibilities run through his head and he settles on his favorite, whether it's true or not. "Ah, you've kidnapped me and laid me among beautiful things to let me know how _gorgeous_ you think I am." He picks a flower and does a weird shoulder wiggle over to Sebastian. "What's next, Bassy? Tying me up and-"

Sebastian is suddenly all the way across the yard, leaving Grell to fall on his face after trying to rub up against his favorite demon. "If you would shut up for a moment, we are trying to figure out what's going on," Sebastian says, brushing his jacket off just in case it touched him.

Loud music starts blasting from the house through the open front door. The five of them cautiously approach the house. They notice the sound coming from a small rectangular object sitting on the counter. Then it stops. It dings a couple times.

"What is that?" Ciel asks.

Sebastian studies the object. "It says here, a missed call and one unread message."

"Call? What, like a telephone?" Ciel wonders.

"You're stupid, that's not a telephone," Alois says. Nobody pays attention to him.

Ciel grabs the thing from his butler. He also pokes at it and the screen changes. He pokes a bit more before giving up in annoyance. "It's too confusing!" He shoves it back into Sebastian's hands.

Sebastian looks it over. "It is not so confusing, my lord. It seems to be some sort of instant mail delivery device," he says. "See here, someone said, i'll be home late honey can you please pick up some milk, and then you said, jsdbvlasvwajb, and then they said, are you okay margaret, to which you replied, absdjvks-"

"Okay, I get it," Ciel interrupts. He grabs the thing back to look at it. It continuously dings in his hand.

"Let me see." Alois butts in where he isn't wanted and grabs the thing. He throws it on the ground and starts stomping on it until it goes silent.

"Hey, what did you do that for!" Ciel says.

"Because it was annoying," Alois says.

DING DONG!

Alois starts yelling at the smashed thing and stomping on it some more. He doesn't realize the noise didn't come from that.

"I'll get it!" Grell sings out, jumping up from the couch where he'd been polishing his chainsaw. Everyone crowds behind him (at a safe distance) as he opens the front door.

"Hello, I'm offering- Ah! Mr Sutcliff!" says the person at the door.

"Ronald?" Grell says.

Ronald is not welcomed in but he comes in anyway. He inconveniently hauls his lawn mower in with him. "Do you happen to know where we are, Mr Sutcliff?"

"I was hoping maybe you knew," Grell says.

"I woke up in a yard down the street and I was confused, so I did what I usually do when I don't know what's going on," Ronald explains.

"What's that then?" Grell asks.

"Mow people's lawns."

Grell stares. "So, when you're confused and in a possible crisis, you...mow people's lawns."

"Yup."

Grell shoos Ronald back out the door. "If you're not gonna be of any help here, then you can just leave."

Ronald takes a few minutes to pry his lawnmower loose from being caught in the doorframe. "Alrighty." He waves goodbye. "I'll just be up and down the street then, if you need your lawn mowed!"

"What a weirdo. Who brings their lawn mower into the house?" Grell mumbles, returning to his previous activities. Nobody mentions that he has his chainsaw in the house. They don't want to attract his attention, so they move into the kitchen.

Sebastian checks his watch. "Oh dear, it's almost time for tea." He sets to work in the kitchen. Claude does as well. They secretly keep trying to stab each other with kitchen utensils as they go about it. Three and a half minutes later, the two young masters are served tea alongside fancy cake things with really hard to pronounce names.

Ciel is actually kind of impressed. "How'd you make this so fast?"

"If I couldn't do that for my master, then what kind of butler would I be?" Sebastian replies.

Alois scrutinizes his cake. He glares at Ciel's from across the table. "His is bigger than mine!"

Ciel stares Alois down as he takes a bite of his cake. (It's probably all he's gonna eat of it)

Claude distracts his master by piling whipped cream onto the cake. Alois is properly distracted and starts eating his cake and whipped cream.

There is sudden noise from the living room, followed by a high-pitched Grell scream and a crash. The two butlers rush onto the scene. Ciel follows close behind. Alois gets stuck between the chair and table.

"What was that?" Sebastian asks.

Grell is on the floor next to a tipped over table. He points to a huge rectangle on the wall with a moving picture of people on it. " _That_ just started happening, I don't know!" Then he crawls away to hide behind the couch. This seems like a time when someone might try to hit him.

But everyone is too busy watching the big rectangle to hit Grell (though they all considered it). "This year's winter may be the worst of the twenty-first century," says the lady on the rectangle.

"Yes, everyone prepare for the winter of twenty-eighteen!" a dude answers her.

Seeing the coast is clear, Grell sits back down on the couch. The rectangle goes blank at the same time. Sebastian takes this oppurtunity to hit Grell overtop the head. "OOOW!"

"Well, we did learn something," Claude mentions. "We are in the future."

"That explains a lot," Sebastian says. He hits Grell one more time for good measure. "We need to get back."

"But how..." Claude says thoughtfully.

Meanwhile, Alois has found the whipped cream can. He sneaks up behind Ciel and sprays a bunch into his hair.

"Gah!" Ciel says. He tries to wipe it off but only makes it worse. He tackles Alois as the whipped cream is still spraying. "Why you-!"

The tussle turns into a whipped cream death match. The butlers have to pry their masters apart.

Alois points at Ciel's new hairstyle, sticking up all over the place. "HahahaHA! Look at him! Isn't that funny, Claude?"

Claude's not laughing, so Alois fluffs his hair around with his sticky hands. "There, now you're funny too."

"I believe it's time for a bath," Claude says.

In the bathroom, Sebastian is trying to figure out how to work the bath. Claude is starting preparations for dinner.

"Oh, BASSY, if you are getting a bath, let me join you!" Sebastian moves out of the way just as Grell is jumping for him. "UWAAAH!" Grell goes sprawling into the bathtub. Sebastian returns to the task of starting the water.

When Grell finally manages to stand up in the small tub, he's blasted in the face with freezing water. "AAAH!" He slips and falls right on his face. His nose starts bleeding.

"Do you mind, you are getting blood all over the tub. This is no place where I can bathe my master," Sebastian says. Grell makes a pathetic noise and continues to lay there. Sebastian picks it up between two fingers and neatly tosses it out the window. Then he cleans the tub and fills it with hot water.

After the masters are done their baths, Sebastian joins in on the making of dinner. Grell sits pouting at the kitchen table after numerous failed attempts at keeping him out of the house. Ciel found a desk which he claimed as his and is writing down all that they know of their current predicament 'cause he's smart and stuff. Alois is across from him, annoyingly sneaking doodles onto the edge of Ciel's paper.

Right as they are all finishing dinner, there's noise at the door. Sebastian and Claude clean up all evidence in record time and they all hide just as the actual owners of this house walk in. The five intruders can hear the conversation from where they're hiding.

"-the milk, hon?" the husband is saying as he closes the door.

"Sorry, Paul, I forgot my phone today," the wife says. "Hmm, where could it be?"

"That's okay, Margaret. Tomorrow," Paul says. "Look at this flyer that was on the door."

"A lawn mowing service?" Margaret says. "We should look into that."

"Boys, get ready for bed," Paul says. "It's late."

"But daaaad," the boys complain.

"What should we do, my lord?" Sebastian whispers.

"Uhh, I don't know, just take care of it," Ciel says uncertainly.

"Kill them," Claude offers. "That's the easiest way."

"I don't recall asking you," Sebastian says.

"It's crowded in here," says the muffled voice of Alois. "Why'd we all hide in the same closet?"

"I rather like it, myself," Grell purrs.

There is a sickening SNAP! Grell screams.

"Oh, god Paul, what was that?" Margaret says.

"Don't know, honey," Paul replies.

"Quick, get the axe from the closet, just in case."

The closet door opens. Sebastian and Claude swoop out, quickly killing Paul and Margaret. When the boys come running, they, too, are disposed of.

"Sebastian!" The butler can't even feel Ciel's tiny little whacks on his arm. "People are going to wonder when this family stops leaving their house!"

"Don't worry, my lord, we will just pose as them until we can get back to our own time," Sebastian says. Ciel just stares. "You did tell me to take care of it, and I did."

Grell is crying on the ground, holding his arm. "You broke it!"

"You really should have seen that coming, Grell," Sebastian says. He leans down and resets Grell's wrist as harshly as possible. Grell screams and cries some more. "There, you'll be better in no time. Maybe now you've learned what _not_ to do the next time we are hiding in a closet together."

Grell is satisfied knowing that there might be a next time (and no, he hasn't learned).

Ciel has disappeared. Sebastian finds him in the king size bed the two butlers had woken up in earlier. "I'm tired of all this," Ciel says. "I'll be going to bed now."

"Not fair!" Alois screams from the doorway. "I want that bed!"

Sebastian blocks the way. "My master got to it first. You will just have to sleep somewhere else." Then he closes the door.

Alois has a tantrum in the hallway, then clings onto Claude's leg. "It isn't fair, Claude. I order you to get me a big bed!"

Claude makes a late night run to the store with Alois attached to his leg and returns with another king size bed. He rips out the bunk beds and puts the new bed in that room. Alois snuggles into it. "This bed is better than Ciel's anyway, because my Claude got it for me." Claude shuts the door so his master won't be disturbed. (Mostly to save himself from having to deal with another tantrum)

Grell sleeps on the couch. After causing the TV to come on again (very loudly), he is banished to the kitchen floor.


End file.
